I have been through many life-changes this year, changes that were hard at first, but ultimately turned out to be necessary little miracles. Overall, these changes have led me to my best life so far. However, even with my improved quality of life and new love, there is a lonely element that lingers. It is not quite a hole; it's not that daunting. It is more of a small series of cracks in my heart and soul. Cracks created from the force of the unexpected collision of change. Cracks that are dark and empty, even while the rest of me is full.
I realize that since these cracks have been created, I have been trying to fill them. I don't know if the cracks are meant to be filled or sealed, but I do know that I have been unsuccessful. When I gaze at this Buddha, who seems to be completely content with his life on my shelf, I become aware that I have been trying to fill the cracks with material. I buy myself presents, I "dress" my environment up, I treat myself to treats, and I seek out little things of material joy to add to my collection. Most recently, I have attained a plant addiction.
Buddha reminds me that fulfillment cannot come from materialistic belongings. I think what my soul is actually craving is more mindfulness, more wandering, more adventuring, more loving, and more acceptance of solitude.
My soul is thirsty for spiritual connection. My spirit has been unplugged from the universe for too long and I sense it is time to plug back in and recharge. The wilderness is calling to me, (metaphorically and physically). I feel that to ignore it would be detrimental to my current path.
So I guess it is time for me to get lost. We should all get lost from time to time. It is the only way we can really make progress on our path. I'll see you on the trail.
"There is no path to happiness. Happiness is the path." - BUDDHA
